Monday, July 26, 2004

My head is wandering, so knock me out

John Kerry's Hollywood: I will stand up and struggle, as others have, to try to get that right balance between violence, and sex, and things. Others may flip-flop about the precise combination of sex and violence a presidential candidate should endorse, but not Tall John, oh no. He knows that America wants a balance. Not too smutty for the sake of observant Catholics, but filthy enough for Mapplethorpe-displaying bohemians; just violent enough for blue-collar union members, but pacifistic to a degree appealing to fuzzy-thinking vegan hippies. John Kerry: Truly a man with his priorities straight! (Via Best of the Web Today.) UPDATE: The Monger calls me on my shameful omission of mentioning the Things in question. If I had to choose, Thing 1 and Thing 2 seem most appropriate...

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